Tuesday, 15 April 2014

What sort of roles should we have?

Over the last few years I've noticed a lot of different ideas on how men and women should be. Relationships, work, home life, dress, behaviour in public, legal status, education and sexuality are some of the areas where there seems to be huge disagreement.

I'm going to ignore the various schools of feminism becase I assume that no one here believes in them. We all I assume broadly accept the idea of male headship of families and male leadership of society.

But beyond that I sense different approaches to gender issues, the organisation of societ and questions of dress and behaviour. There also seems to be a divide between people who are mainly orientated towards a BDSM-tpe sexual relationship and don't go beyond that and those who genuinely want to establish a patriarchal society.

Even among the supporters of patriarchy there are differences of degree, emphasis and approach. The role of men and women isn't seen identically even by that group of people. Some want a sort of 1950s housewife type of set-up, others want a more hard approach where the sexual rights of the male outweigh the possible lack of enthusiasm of the female to an absolute and unqualified degree, some believe that domestic discipline is essential, and some look on females as less than human - at best a lower species of animal and at worst an object to be used.

So are we 'angels in the house' to be supported financially, treated like children or pets, our role seen as housewife and mother and cook and cleaner? Or are we sex objects to be fucked and used and nothing else about us matters? Or what?

Of course as a writer of many BDSM stories and a lot of articles and other posts I've sometimes written satire, sometimes fantasy and sometimes written how I really feel and think about things. And I'm not sure that even my own positions are necessarily consistent.

There are certain areas where I feel absolutely sure about the right way to think and act and the right direction that society should be taking. On the other hand there are others where I'm not sure at all or even where I find myself more in sympathy with women than men.

And there are whole aspects of life where I really feel that it's almost impossible to correct an injustice in one place without creating an equal injustice in others.

And of course there are different attitudes towards what both men and women feel is the right way to behave. Look at the thorny issue of the niqab/burkha - is a woman who wears one being submissive or not? Many Muslim feminists claim that to wear this garment does NOT mean that you are accepting male headship.

Anyway let's leave that specific issue aside and concentrate on more general aspects. How SHOULD women dress? Like nuns, like Doris Day or like sluts? Or does it depend - on the time and place and situation, on the individual relationship?

I have a marriage where my Husband has very definite ideas about how He wants me to dress. As those of you who know my blogs and groups and stories and other articles I've posted elsewhere know by now, in my case He wants me to dress like a total slut most of the time and only dress in a more 'modest' style at, say, parents' evenings at school or that sort of thing. But should there be general rules on dress? Or is it an area where different Masters will have different ideas?

A related area is modesty of speech. I think it's a given that we should be polite and respectful to Gentlemen but what about the way we speak? Is dirty talking out, only for the bedroom/relationship situations or can - maybe even should - us girls be foul-mouthed and swear like troopers all the time?

Another area of conflict is in the field of work. Should the husband work and support a stay-at-home wife? Or is that not just old-fashioned but economically unrealistic with the strains on people's incomes these days?

On purely sexual matters I think it's more simple on the whole. Girls really do have a duty to let men fuck them; going out on a date IS an implied contract where sex is on offer by the girl at the end of it; and IMO it's totally ridiculous to think that a husband, partner or boyfriend could POSSIBLY be guilty of 'rape.'

Date rape just ISN'T rape in any meaningful sense of the word.

It's a contract where the girl implicitly accepts that the man will want to fuck her and if she refuses at the end of the date then she's broken the contract and only SHE has done anything wrong.

If he DID decide to rape her when she acts like that then it's her own fault and she's only got herself to blame for what happened to her.

In the same way I think that if a girl gets pregnant - whether through a relatonship or through rape - then ONLY the father of her unborn child should have the right to decide on whether or not she keeps the baby or has an abortion. The woman should have NO say in the matter whatsoever. It should be purely the man's decision.

As I put it in a slogan on a feminist message board where I went along to wind them up, 'her body; his choice.'

If a girl is in a relationship - marriage, partnership or boyfriend - equally she's entered into a contract where the man has the right to decide if and when to use contraception; if and when and how they have sex; if and when she can have an abortion; and every aspect of her sexuality should be controlled by him.

I could say a lot more but this post is already too long so I'll sit down and write part two!





Thursday, 28 November 2013

The nature of being female - part five

OK, i've written at some length about our cunts and (in a previous post) our tits. Now it's time to look at a girl's arse.

One thing that's immediately obvious is that both males and females have an arse. So what makes ours different from theirs?

In the first place it's designed to shit just like a Man's is but it's also wider, flabbier and looser. Why is that? There are many reasons and i'll go into them in a minute.

To begin with we've already seen why raping a girl's cunt is always a good thing even for her. So what about raping her arse? What are the reasons why that is a good thing?

Her arsehole is tighter than her cunt so it will hurt more
It's degrading and humiliating and the association of her arsehole with shit reinforces that feeling
If you rape her arse right it will be agony for her to sit down afterwards
It reinforces the Male superior/female inferior thing in a very direct and forceful way
If a Man doesn't want to get the girl pregnant fucking her up the arse is about 99.9% certain NOT to lead to pregnancy
The Man's in charge because the girl can't trick Him into making her pregnant (or do much else to be honest!)
The tightness of a girl's arsehole arouses Men
He feels powerful and she feels powerless
It helps to keep her humble
The arsehole is tighter. And it's sexier because of the taboo, and the pain involved.
The proximity of the cunt to the arse reminds both Him and Her that it's a female being used
It's get less hair than around the cunt region (unless you shave it off completely)

Now from the female point of view:

It's painful but also pleasurable
It's relaxing and not only your arse muscles but your whole body gets relaxed
A girl's arsehole is more sensitive than her cunt so she'll feel both the pain and pleasure more intensely

And, of course, if you enjoy the feeling of being degraded and in pain you'll enjoy being fucked up the arse!

All in all being fucked or (even better) raped up the arse is a powerful reminder of why we ARE inferior, property, just objects to be used and just three-holed twats with bodies designed perfectly for Male pleasure.

In my next post i'll examine sucking cocks and how that too defines a female.

Saturday, 9 November 2013

Intelligence in females

In an earlier post i briefly touched on the fact that a girl's brain is connected directly to her cunt. Her brain is also smaller than a Man's and is easily aroused by stimulating or penetrating her cunt.

It's no accident that with some exceptions Men are more intelligent than females. They have a cock and balls while we only have a cunt.

All our thinking, feeling, sensations and other brain processes are totally defined and dominated by the fact that we HAVE a cunt.

And it's no accident that one of the most frequent Male insult is 'you stupid cunt!' Real Men know instinctively that a cunt is associated INHERENTLY with stupidity and that females, HAVING cunts, are (with a few minor exceptions) always MORE stupid than Men.

So when a Man calls a girl a stupid cunt He's not just insulting her (though of course He's doing that too) but He's reminding her that the SOURCE of her stupidity is BECAUSE she's a female, simply BECAUSE she has a cunt.

So simply through the fact of being born with a cunt rather than a Manly cock and balls nature condemns us to a lifetime of stupidity, at least in comparison with the majority of Men.

Some of it's DNA as well; in any successful or clever female you can always see Masculine traits and if you analysed their DNA girls like that would have an extra Male chromosome just as wimpish men have an extra female one. But we're talking at the most optimistic estimate no more than 5% of females. The rest of us really ARE stupid fucking cunts.

So accepting that we ARE inherently stupid just BECAUSE we've got a cunt, how should we think, feel and act in the light of that knowledge?

Obviously we should stop even trying to compete with Men because we're inferior and stupid and bound to fail. WE should stop demanding equal rights when we're obviously NOT equal to Men. Instead of trying to take charge of situations we should ask Men for help and leadership. Rather than demanding 'rights' we should start fulfilling our duties. We should accept Male leadership and simply try to fulfil our purpose in life, to serve Men and to be fucked or otherwise used by them for their pleasure.

All those are essential changes both externally and internally. How should us girls think and feel about ourselves knowing that our cunt dooms us to a life of irretrievable stupidity and failure?

Well, there are several ways of reacting to that realisation.

One is the futile feminist road of denial and simply blaming female stupidity on 'lack of opportunity' or 'the patriarchy.'

Since it's obvious bollocks i'm not even going to waste any time dissing THAT crock of shit!

Another is to accept it grudgingly, resent the fact and at best try to minimise its effects. That tends to lead to mental confusion and an unfocused female who falls between two stools and isn't much good to anyone.

Then there's the 'consensual submissive' way, a contradiction in terms if ever there was one. Since by definition submission MEANS total surrender to the will of another, how 'consent' comes into that is beyond me. That's just for people who play at submission and just look on it as a sexual turn-on rather than grasping the fact that it applies in EVERY aspect of life and NOT just in sex.

And of course there's nature's way, to accept and embrace our own natural inferiority, stupidity, incapacity and utter fucking helplessness without the leadership and Ownership of a Man.

The caption to a cartoon i posted on my JPU forum illustrates the truth in a humorous way. Two females are talking and one says to the other:

'They say men think with their penises.'

The other girl answers: 'That must be why women are so stupid.'

Many a true word is said in jest and that cartoon which i found somewhere on the web is no exception. Men think with their cock and balls which makes them smart and clever; girls think with their cunt which makes them slow and stupid.

So the next time a Man tells you that you're a stupid fucking cunt you should accept and embrace His criticism of you.

After all, that really IS all that we are!

Thursday, 7 November 2013

The nature of being female - part four

What i am is SIMPLY (more or less - i'll come on to what else we are at the end of this post) a cunt. As a female what i am is what i have - a dirty cunt that hangs uselessly between my legs. It humiliates me and because i have a cunt i don't have the same kind of sexuality that Men do. A Man has a strong and powerful cock with balls that thrust and penetrate and take me. As a girl i only have a cunt. Because i have a cunt i have NO rights, no capabilities, nothing. No freedom, no sense of worth, nothing. A total zero and all because i have a cunt. i'm a female, born with a cunt between my legs instead of a strong Manly prick and the balls that go with it.

Being female is an insult in itself. Real Men know that and insult other men by calling them girls or women or pussies or anything that suggests that the other man is NOT a REAL Man but someone who DOESN'T have a cock and balls but only a cunt.

So of course i AM a cunt. i'm a girl, a woman, a female. Yes, it's true; i don't have a cock or balls, i only have tits and a cunt. And of course reminding me that BECAUSE i have a cunt i AM a cunt is deeply humiliating and yet a perfectly fair and accurate way of reminding me of the inherent Male dominance over me simply BECAUSE of their equipment and my lack of it.

So i've got tits and a cunt and because i've got those things that defines me as female and therefore inferior. Because i've got a cunt I AM a cunt. And it's quite right to call me a cunt, a bitch, a slut, a whore, a tart, a slag, a cow, a slapper, a bimbo because simply BECAUSE i've got a cunt i AM all those things.

Having a cunt means to me that i'm always in second place in society, in gender relations, in education, in jobs, in life, in sexual activity and just in every way there is. All because i have a cunt. All i am is a hole to be penetrated by a Man and just having a cunt means that's what my role in life actually is. The mere fact that i've got inferior genitals makes me inherently inferior and inherently put on this earth to be used by Men.

So OK, what exactly am i saying? Am i saying that we should be ashamed of having a cunt? Yes, in a way, but that doesn't mean i wish i didn't have one or i wish i was a Man. To be honest i enjoy my cunt and think it's good that it can help to please Men by being fucked. But in every aspect of life having a cunt does bring with it certain inherent consequences and maybe at times us girls aren't fully aware of what they mean.

Let's look at the physical aspects of being born with a cunt. A girl's cunt is soft, open, wet, easily available, a hole that's placed between our legs to get penetrated and fucked and it's an inherently submissive part of our body that was designed by nature for the specific purpose of giving Men pleasure by fucking us. We also bleed once a month which is a big pain and yet again we see how nature endowed us with an inferior status in life. We are also born to be the baby carriers of the world and heave around future children inside us for nine months. (i've had three now so i know what i'm talking about!)

Now let's look at the psychological aspects of having a cunt. It means we're programmed biologically to have babies, to expect to be fucked and to be submissive towards Men. It's because i have a cunt that i am a mother, a fuck-toy and a female submissive. It's because i have a cunt that i was born to give pleasure to Men. Because of my cunt i'm inferior to Men and my own sexual identity is simply that of a vessel in which Men empty their sperm. This is what having a cunt means on the sexual level - to have no right to any pleasure of my own but simply to experience sexual pleasure through being used by Men for their sexual pleasure. It's the Man who uses me who defines my sexuality and my sexual identity. Sex is not a free choice on my part; it's not something over which i have any control or choice. Being fucked is something that happens TO me and NOT something i initiate or control. It's certainly NOT for my pleasure that a Man fucks me; it's not about me or about me benefiting from it. A Man fucks me for HIS pleasure and that's what it's all about. Sex, fucking, rape, bondage, humiliation and all the other aspects of my sexuality belong to me only in a passive sense; i'm the object, the receiver, the hole that's used. And i always WILL experience sex like that and i SHOULD always experience sex like that simply because i have a cunt.

It's obvious if i look at my cunt how malformed it is when compared with the Male equipment. It's smaller, the clitoris is a failed attempt at a female cock, it's open and defenceless compared with the protective covering for the Male; and it's just inferior as a tool to the Man's equipment in every way. That doesn't mean a cunt is useless or contemptible; apart from pissing out of it a cunt also has its most primitive and primordial use in being fucked. It's what it's meant for; it reinforces on every level my own inferiority as a mere female. In sex as in life Men are superior and we were put there to serve them and to be used for their pleasure. And our cunt is proof of that assessment in itself. A cunt is just an object to be used by Men, a hole to be filled by them and other than that it's useless.

With one exception - being the delivery channel for new life. Femininity is absolutely biologically hardwired into our bodies and nowhere more so than in the experience of pregnancy and birth. Men fuck us and if we're lucky we get pregnant and the Man leaves us to carry the burden about for nine months. A lot of the time the discomfort and problems caused by pregnancy are almost unbearable and we can barely function to an extent. And then there's the contractions, the labour pains, the whole horrifically painful process of giving birth. Sure, you can have a Caesarean which at least makes the actual process of birth less traumatic. But speaking as a Mum who's had three kids the natural way and would never even consider a Caesarean i think that the whole experience of natural birth also teaches us girls some fundamentally important lessons about life.

In the first place there's the whole burden of pregnancy - physical and psychological. It's uncomfortable and often actually painful and it also leads to wild mood swings as hormones in the body get mixed up. Then when you get to the time the baby's due you have agonising pain and suffering all centred around and focused on your cunt. And so we see that the evidence of pregnancy is that nature has designed our cunts from the moment of our births to feel and experience pain. Even the act of bringing new life into the world is painful, degrading and a huge relief when it's over at last. So what that shows is that not only is our cunt designed to be fucked, raped and used by Men but that it's also designed by nature to feel pain. Once again we see that a female is inferior to a Man in every way and that our cunts were designed for their benefit and not for our own.

And if you look at fucking a Man gets immediate and obvious pleasure from it; He gets aroused, shoots His load inside us and then goes on to other things and doesn't give a shit about what He's done. If He's raped us then He'll almost certainly have hurt us as well and yet strangely a girl who IS raped rather than fucked is MORE likely to orgasm (one survey done of 1000 raped girls found ALL had orgasmed; most surveys report figures of around 60% of raped women orgasming. The lowest figures i've seen are 40% of girls who've been raped orgasming. So, once again, the association for a female of sex and pain or at least of painful sex is undeniable.

And even 'consensual' fucking can be painful for the girl especially if the Man has a big prick or she has a small tight cunt. Rough fucking will always be painful for her and rape can be psychologically humiliating as well as painful. So the association between being fucked and experiencing pain is pretty constant. And that's just if you're fucked up the cunt - being fucked up the arse can be VERY painful and even sucking a Man's cock doesn't give a girl any pleasure though it does the Man which of course is what's important.

And if you ARE hurt during sex it's almost ecstatic to feel the soreness of your cunt and the swelling of your labia. To be fucked roughly or to be raped gives an extra frisson of pain and humiliation and discomfort to the experience which once again shows our natural inferiority because it HEIGHTENS our sexual experience and nature obviously DESIGNED us girls so that we WOULD feel more sexual satisfaction if our fucking was combined with a touch of pain.

So it reinforces the truth that my wet and bruised cunt is utterly vulnerable, useless and incapable of self-defence and all it can do is to undergo pain, rough and degrading fucking or brutal rape and there is absolutely NOTHING that i can do about it.

Having a cunt is an outward and visible sign of our inferiority and it's degrading in itself. It's a constant reminder that the gaping hole between your legs is the SOLE reason you ARE inferior, the SOLE reason you're NOTHING, the SOLE reason you deserve nothing better than being used by a Man for His pleasure and that you have NO value and you mean NOTHING to Him. All you are is a female, a woman, a girl, a member of the second sex, the lower sex, the useless and worthless sex. And you belong to that weaker and lower sex simply BECAUSE you have a cunt.

Because you have a cunt you are weak, stupid, not even human. All you are is an object to be used and property to be owned by a Man. A Man feels power and enjoyment in His dominant sexual pleasure while you can feel only the sense of being an object that He uses to bring Himself pleasure, a vessel to carry His sperm, incubate and give birth to His child. All that you are is a cunt with a body attached to it, nothing more. It is your role in life to serve Him and be used by Him simply because you have a cunt. It's your role in life to be called a slut, a bitch, a cunt, a cow, a slag, a slapper, a hussy, a whore or bimbo and you knoe in your heart and mind - and especially in your cunt - that all those things He says about you are true and true just BECAUSE you have a cunt. All you are is His slave simply because you have a cunt.

So is that all there is to us? We're just our cunts and nothing else?

Well, almost; about 90% of us IS defined simply by our cunt.

But we've also (when we reach puberty) got tits and we also have an arse and gob.

We are (as a Gentleman recently said to me) just three-holed twats with tits.

And that really DOES define us completely.

i've already written in another post about how our tits define us and what their proper purpose and use is so in the next section i'll deal with our arses and in the one after that our gobs.

The nature of being female - Part Three

Part Three

Having shown how what DEFINES us girls and makes us inherently inferior to Men is simply HAVING a cunt i'm now going to try to explain HOW it is that HAVING a cunt leads inevitably to BEING a cunt.

In the first place we've already seen that science has discovered that the female brain is directly and intimately linked to the cunt and any activity in the cunt directly stimulates and gives pleasure to the brain.

We also know that the cunt, like a girl's tits, is specifically designed by nature to give pleasure to Men when they use it.

It follows that the greatest possible stimulation of the female occurs when a girl is being fucked. The obvious conclusion is that she will be more intelligent by being fucked and that fucking her cunt is the best way to impart superior Male Truth inside her.

We also know from science that a girl who is raped rather than 'consensually' fucked or 'made love to' will experience a HIGHER degree of stimulation and be MORE alert during and after the experience and therefore rape is the most effective tool for educating and training females.

We also know from science that a girl who is raped will orgasm while with 'consensual' fucking and 'lovemaking' she hardly ever does so actually the rapist is giving the girl PLEASURE by raping her.

A cunt was designed and destined to be fucked, used and yes, raped by Men. Rape is the norm in the animal kingdom and SHOULD be among human females too.

So a girl who's a virgin will LESS intelligent and LESS happy than a girl who gets fucked regularly; a girl who gets fucked 'consensually' will be LESS intelligent and LESS happy than a girl who gets raped.

So rape makes you more intelligent AND happier!

The problem is that most of the time one of the following things is going wrong.

1 Her cunt isn't being used at all
2 Her cunt isn't being used enough
3 Her cunt isn't being used in the right way
4 Her cunt is being used selfishly

The first point is obvious; if the girl's a virgin all her life she'l never get to experience Male Truth. She'll always be stupid and she'll never find happiness.

The second point is also fairly obvious. If a girl isn't getting fucked often enough she'll always be pretty stupid, full of ignorance and lies and miserable most of her life.

The third is complex. What exactly are right and wrong (or at least better and worse) ways of using a cunt?

It's obvious that a cunt was designed to be fucked so by definition lesbianism is a WRONG use of a cunt. Since we also know that rape is superior to 'consensual' fucking we can make the stronger claim that a cunt is not only designed to be fucked by Men but specifically to be RAPED by them. Just as lesbianims is a WRONG use of a cunt, rape is the RIGHT use of it. As rape is the best way of using a cunt we can also deduce that 'consensual' fucking and 'lovemaking' are WRONG ways of using a cunt.

Selfish ways of using a cunt include masturbation and cunnilingus. If a Man is raping a girl's cunt He's fulfilling its
true biological destiny; if a girl is just frigging herself off or, even worse, having her count tongued by a dyke or (worse still) a Gentleman then he cunt is being used in a SELFISH way purely for her own gratification. With rape it's different; the girl's cunt is being used PROPERLY to give pleasure to the Man raping her but by doing so He ALSO gives her pleasure.

Once again i come back to the fundamental truth that females are defined primarily by their cunts

We HAVE a cunt; that DEFINES us AS a cunt.

Tuesday, 5 November 2013

The nature of being female - Part Two

During the course of the next few weeks my future Husband explained more and more about the nature of being a female. As well as His own wise words i also did a lot of soul-searching and thinking and read as much as i could on the subject.

And the conclusion i came to, partly with His help, partly what i discovered in my researches and partly just by thinking, was that i as a woman, a female, a girl, was the weaker sex and not simply weaker but also inferior. Simply BECAUSE i was female.

All the propaganda about equality and rights and special privileges and how men were male chauvinists and sexist pigs if they didn't treat me like that was wrong.

We're certainly physically weaker than Men; there are far fewer (even proportionate to population and in the West at least with not just equal opportunities but even special favours given to us) scientists, engineers, doctors and businesswomen.

We've got smaller brains than Men and we're less adept at skilful tasks and we find it harder to focus and concentrate and multitask than Men.

All these things are relevant and reinforced my growing sense of inferiority. But it wasn't just that ever since my rape i'd learned to become addicted to rough sex and to be sexually submissive. It was more than just the sexual aspect of my growing awareness of my own inferiority that struck me.

i am a female and that means - though it took me a few months of fighting against the idea - that i am a lesser being than a man. i am a second-class citizen and always will be. Because of my birth and my gender i am destined by nature to be an entirely inferior being simply BECAUSE i am female. In and of myself i have NO purpose in life; my whole raison d'etre is to be used by Men and to serve and please them. That and that alone is the sole purpose of my existence.

This truth took me a while to grasp but now i feel it in every fibre of my body, in every nerve cell of my mind, in every vessel carrying blood through my heart. Most of all i feel this truth within my cunt.

When i'm fucked by a Man i feel utterly fulfilled and it's as if that makes me feel worthwhile and happy. And i've learned that this feeling is no accident. Apparently our cunt (science has discovered) has a direct connection to our brains and so when our cunt is happy we are happy. So every time i'm fucked i'm happy.

And since more scientific research has shown (i'll dig out and post the link) that if a female is raped she will experience orgasm and since when i orgasm it's the whole centre of the universe it's obvious that being raped is BETTER sex than just being fucked - let alone 'made love to.'

And my submissive nature is natural and instinctive and it fills my whole body and mind and heart and soul but of course most of all it traces back to its natural source - my cunt. When a Man uses my cunt He is making me serve my natural function and purpose in life.

It is my cunt, the gaping hole between my legs, that defines me and governs my whole existence. Because i have a cunt i was born for one purpose and one purpose only - to serve Men.

My cunt was made to be used by Men for their pleasure and in its use by them i find the highest pleasure a female can ever hope to experience. When i am not being raped i long for the power, the force, the dominating thrust and penetration of an erect cock using my cunt. The whole nature of my existence, my whole identity, is simply and solely defined by my cunt and its whole function and purpose is to be used by a Man for His pleasure.

And i've said already that rape is the only REAL sex; that rape gives you orgasms you can hardly ever get just with being fucked; that rape also reinforces my own sense of inferiority, of service, of being simply an object to be used.

So what IS the nature of being a female?

Put simply it means - to have a cunt.

It is my cunt that defines me, makes me inferior, forced by my own inner nature to serve.

A cunt is made to be fucked, raped, used, penetrated, hurt and whored out for Men to use for their pleasure. To be female is to have a cunt and to be no more than a cunt to be used by Men, to serve them, to try to please them, to receive pain at their hands, to be humiliated, compelled to obey and to have no will of your own.

A female is simply an object for Men's use, a servant to try to make His life better, a slave with the whole essence of her being simply to direct all her thoughts, will, emotions and actions towards His pleasure. Everything we do or say should be intended to give pleasure to Mmen.

And what is it that makes us all that? Simply because we are BORN inferior with inferior genital equipment and inferior bodies.

We are female; we are weak, stupid, born to serve and born to be used by Men.

Instead of a Manly cock and balls i have only tits and a cunt to offer.

It is my tits and especially my cunt that defines me and makes me what i am.

However hard i try to deceive myself my body knows the truth.

i am female, born with a cunt, and as a result of that born to serve Men, to please Men and be used by them.

That is what defines me and gives me my purpose in life.

Sunday, 3 November 2013

The Nature of being female



Over the course of the last 32 years I've often asked myself what it is that defines a woman. What makes us female, feminine or whatever other word you want to use to describe those of us who are not males.

And of course being a woman - being a girl - being female - defines every aspect of our life and is the fundamental basis of my identity. I have no choice in the matter; I was born female and I have to live with the consequences of that for the rest of my life.

Of course I thought about what it meant to be, first, a girl and then, as I became a teenager, what it meant to be a woman. It seemed obvious that the feminist propaganda was right and that the main differences between us and men were cultural rather than biological.

I believed not only that men and women were equal but that I was as good as any man; I believed I was entitled to equal pay, equal opportunity, an equal say in things with men, equal rights, that it was MY body and MY choice was to do with it and that my vagina was something to be looked on with honour and respect as the channel through which life entered the world.

Well on one level of course we CAN do nearly everything a man can; there ARE female scientists, engineers, politicians, businesswomen and so on. Maybe (even in the West) the proportion of them is small but I used to think that was purely down to male prejudice against women.

But I was wrong.

How did I begin to question the ideas of feminism? Well, it started when I was 18 years old. I still have trouble writing about the whole shebang (even thinking about it is painful in many ways) but basically it began when I was raped.

And that single act - actually a whole weekend during which I was repeatedly raped by a man who got me drunk and abducted me - led to the beginning of my awakening.

There were so many levels on which my rape made me question my feminist beliefs. To begin with when I looked back at it I realised that I had been largely responsible for what happened to me. I'd been drinking, flirting with the young man, talking dirty and was dressed in a sexually provocative way. I'd more or less given him the green light for sex and then I'd held back at the last minute to tease him. It was as if I felt that being female gave me power over him.

So when I thought back about my rape I saw that if I had behaved differently it wouldn't have happened and that made me feel very guilty.

Because i was honest enough to admit to myself that i'd behaved badly and that my own behaviour had largely led to my rape i began to question the feminist dogma that rape is always the man's fault and never the woman's.

i realised wead a responsibility to behave properly and if we didn't then bad things might happen to us and so we had a duty to act responsibly.

That in itself marked a change in my attitudes but another aspect of my rape shook me to the core and led me towards a feeling of self-loathing and shame that has never really left me. Although for the last eight years i've accepted it more because i understand things better now - not only myself but the true role of females within society and in terms of sexuality - but the feeling of shame and self-contempt remains and will never leave me.

What shook me rigid and made me agonise for years is how i reacted when i was raped.

i orgasmed, i came, i was aroused by and responded to my rape!

That led to six years of self-contempt, self-hatred and shame. What was wrong with me? Was i a depraved slut who enjoyed being raped? Was i mentally ill to have found sexual pleasure in my rape?

It wasn't until i met my future Husband when i was 24 years old that He explained things to me and suddenly it all made sense for the first time. He made me realise that not only was i to blame for my rape (i'd already understood that for the six previous years) but that i'd positively WANTED to be raped and had set out to engineer the situation so that i WOULD be raped.

This came as a blinding revelation to me. At the time i was convinced that the last thing i'd wanted to happen was to be raped and yet acually that was EXACTLY what i'd wanted!

Another lightbulb went off in my head when i asked Him - rather embarrassed - why it was that when i'd een raped i'd orgasmed. He laughed at that question and told me the answer was obvious. i told Him it wasn't obvious to me and could He explain it because i still couldn't understand it even after six years of thinking about it.

When He told me WHY it was i came it was suddenly blindingly clear and logical. He said three things all of which made perfect sense to me and explained everything.

The first was an elaboration of the fact that i'd obviously WANTED to be raped. He said that the fact that i orgasmed through being raped proved three things - that i'd WANTED to be raped, that i'd ENJOYED being raped and that i'd CONSENTED to being raped.

i'd already accepted that i'd really wanted to be raped and that i must have enjoyed it or i wouldn't have cum like i did but the idea that i'd actually CONSENTED to the rape threw me completely and i asked Him to explain it to me.

He laughed and said, think, donna. What happened when you were raped is that you came. The mere fact that you HAD an orgasm when you were raped PROVES that you DID consent to it. The mind can lie but the body always tells the truth. And your body said just one thing - please rape me.

The whole idea that rape was something i'd actually consented to threw me at first but once again it made perfect sense. Suddenly i saw things more clearly and i recognised that i'd behaved appallingly. IN spite of the fact that my bad attitudes and bad behaviour meant that i'd DESERVED to be raped as a punishment i'd also got tremendous sexual pleasure out of it.

When i asked Him to explain how it was that i'd got sexual pleasure out of being raped He laughed again and told me i'd been brainwashed by feminist propaganda Just being fucked isn't enough, He said. All that crap about love and tenderness and consent is just bullshit. You might have been fucked, He told me, but what you had when you got fucked wasn't REAL sex. RAPE is the ONLY real sex there is.

i was dumbfounded but yet again it all made perfect sense to me. Rape was REAL sex and just being fucked was play acting. And as for 'making love' he was totally scornful about that.

At that point in our discussions He got into deeper stuff about what it means to BE female and how a REAL Man thinks and behaves. It was shocking, fascinating and enlightening all at once. My head was spinning as all the feminist beliefs i'd held were being blown away with simple logic. It was a devastating but exhilarating experience and at last i slowly began to grasp the truth.

But because this post is already too long i'll put the killer punch in part two!